Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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