Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
