i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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