you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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