I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Fuck appropriateness.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
