can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
