Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize