He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
