Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
