Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
