i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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