I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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