i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
