i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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