I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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