We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
