I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
