I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think your dad took our porno
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
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