you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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