Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
