she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize