arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
