I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize