No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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