Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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