All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize