no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
