put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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