ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize