I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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