I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
