Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
tell me about the fingering
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
