You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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