White coat. Heels.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
