you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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