What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
