He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
