A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
