a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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