Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
