Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
cat food counts as protein by the way
My ATM looks so different sober.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize