I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
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Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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