somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
