Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
