all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
