My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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