You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
