No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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