hell yes lets make some ravioli
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
