he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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