Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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