Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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