"it" just moved
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
