The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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