I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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