12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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