Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
